If you are friends with me on Facebook, you have already seen this photo--my long term, finally completed shop project. At the beginning of last semester my professor needed a volunteer for what he promised was an easy project with a chance to leave behind a legacy at SFA. So *ding ding ding* guess who volunteered?! This over achiever right here. Little did I know how many problems this project would present, and what a pain in my butt it would become! By Helen's request, and with input from many other friends, I have decided to dedicate this post to the bridge which is soon to be placed on Banita Creek Trail behind "The Lofts" in Nacogdoches. Axe 'em Jacks!
Back story: The money for this bridge was donated (Another reason I volunteered. I didn't have to supply the metal for my project) by Dr. Abernathy, who actually designed all of the trail systems in Nacogdoches and is sort of a living legend around the SFA ATCOFA. It is one of his wishes to get this bridge put in, so Banita Creek Trail can be completed. So this really was a great project. Helping a well known community member, and contributing to something that will be used by hundreds and hundreds of people. I just got a little bit ahead of myself...
So in terms of technical problems (don't worry--this bridge is structurally sound!!! And tested.) I avoided stick welding this thing at all costs because it's more difficult than MIG welding. If you aren't an ag major and have no rural background you can Google what that stands for. So I literally spent the first half of a semester cutting the metal, and trying to get out of starting to weld it. I had to weld it outside though, because it is so freaking huge...forty feet to be precise! And of course, by some twisted trick of fate nothing went right. The weather never cooperated, the welders we were using were on the fritz, etc. (Is fritz a real word? Because this isn't telling me I need to spell check it....interesting...) So eventually I was forced to drag the stick welder outside through what SFA calls "pavement". It can be seen in the above photo as a sad excuse for pavement, consisting more of tiny rocks mixed with large rocks, making it very difficult to roll welders through. Pretty sure I cursed a few times trying to haul those heavy things out there. Once I began Doc had been right, it was pretty repetitive. At this point my fellow SFASU student and ag mech sufferer Jessica had joined me on the project. Originally she was just moral support, but as the semester went on we all began to realize just how big of a project this was becoming and how I really could use another person helping me. The semester rolled around to the end and we thought we had finished welding everything. *Doc went back later and found spots we had apparently deemed too difficult to get to and had one of his student workers who is a much better welder than us finish those up* Then Dr. Morton drops a bomb on me, that this thing still needs to be primed and painted. WHAT?! Just when I thought I was done, you're telling me I have to work on this next semester too? Because I'm definitely not working on it over Christmas break! Well y'all can imagine just how motivated I was to finish a project for a class I was no longer enrolled in.
Which brings me to the *dun dun dun dunnnnn* moral lesson in bridge building. Maybe it's because I'm listening to the Les Mis soundtrack, but I'm feeling sappy tonight. And as Helen pointed out to me, I could come up with SOOOO many metaphors to compare this bridge to. In fact, my friends all started joking that it was starting to represent my life! This unfinished, burden of a project that just would not go away, no matter how hard I tried to shove it to the back of my mind. *cough cough relationship cough cough.* I knew if I would just buckle down and get it done I could lift that pressure off of myself and not have to worry about it! But I kept putting it off, hoping that someone would finish it for me.
Pause- If you know me, that last sentence is so out of character. Since when do I, Lizzie Lewis, ultimate go-getter, over-committer, teacher's pet, whatever you want to call it, lose all motivation? This semester. That's when.
I have been having such a hard time finding my motivation this semester. Ask my sorority sisters! I have been slacking as President, and have developed such an "IDGAF" attitude that it literally makes my stomach hurt sometimes. So when my friends made the comment about that bridge being a metaphor for my life, even though they were kind of joking, it really struck me.
Because they were totally right.
That bridge represents all of the things I thought I had no control over. I had no control over the weather not cooperating on some days, or welders not working. I had no control over being dumped. And that is pretty much where the list ends. I have control over my attitude every day. I have control of my schedule. I had the choice to put off painting another day. I have control of the way I treat others. I have control of how I treat my body. I have control of my life. I kept making excuses as to why I couldn't go paint today, or tomorrow, or this week. I could hear myself sounding like such a slacker!!! It took me almost an entire semester to prime and paint that thing--the same amount of time it took me to build it!
So now that it's finally done and I've had a chance to look back at this project I cant honestly say that I have gotten much more out of it than a legacy. Don't think I still won't force my future students to go visit this bridge so I can tell them the story--because I will. Every year. And maybe I'm making connections (or building bridges..heheh...) where they don't exist. But I feel like the timing of this bridge was very interesting. One of those God things, you know? I'm not saying that the completion of this bridge has lifted all of my emotional burdens. It's not magical. I am sure I will still wake up some days where it's all I can do to get up and function. It didn't mend a broken heart. *Side-note...remember the show "My Life as a Teenage Robot? If her heart broke could you weld it back together and fix it? These are the questions that haunt me.* But it did take a big weight off of my shoulders. And I do think it's interesting that I finished it around the same time I am beginning to forgive myself for being so unmotivated this semester. So--moral of the story is don't be so hard on yourself, and remember that everyday you make choices that affect you in more ways than you think. Don't put off until tomorrow what can be done today. That, and if you ever need a bridge built, DO NOT ask me.
-L
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